#118 Be Better

Yesterday evening, around kilometer eleven of a 17K scheduled easy run along Toronto's MGT, battling a slight headwind, slippery surfaces, and the now all too familiar cold (-20 with the windchill), I found myself asking the always difficult and quintessential question of 'why'. Namely: "Why do I do this to myself?"

I tried to silence my increasing anxiety and agitation with simple and seemingly straightforward responses. I do it for my health. For my fitness. For my mood and mental well-being. For my sanity! I do it to get better. To be better. To run faster and further than I have before. I do it because I enjoy it... Or do I?

Distance running is an immensely demanding activity. It requires weeks, months and years of progressive training and preparation. It demands more and more mileage, harder workouts, and faster paces. Attention to diet, sleep, rest and recovery. Aches and pains, injuries and discomfort. It can be physically and mentally draining, not to mention the social (or lack there of) implications.

So why do I do it? Why do I put myself (and others) through this day after day, for weeks and months on end?! 

I still struggle to put forth a solid response to these questions. Some days I fail altogether to justify this crazy commitment and tell myself I want to quit. Obviously I don't. I won't. I can't!

When I did eventually finish my run and arrived at home, I instantly felt relieved. It was over, at least for now. I was satisfied with myself and the anxiety seemed to disappear completely. I then spent the evening watching the Olympics and hearing stories about the athletes (and their families, friends and communities) who give and sacrifice so much to realize their dreams. I envy them for getting to where they are. For getting the recognition and appreciation they most certainly deserve. I can't know for sure what it takes to be an Olympian and often I wonder what it is that they have, that I do not?

To be an Olympian, to be the best at a given sport or activity, an athlete requires a great deal of drive, devotion and determination. It requires the relentless pursuit of excellence and a constant commitment to the task. A skill set and mastery that is perfected over time through rigorous practice and endless energy.

But being an Olympian also involves a great deal of luck. It requires being in the right place at the right time. Born into the right family, with the right combination of genes/genetics. Raised in the right way. In the right location with the right access to facilities and opportunities. It requires having the right amount of support (especially financially). 

Sorry kids, but being the best is not simply just about wanting it or dreaming it. Anything is NOT possible; not always. It is infinitely more complicated than this.

Despite my daily dedication to self-improvement and a sincere desire to be the best I can be; I will never be an Olympic athlete. I will never represent my country or stand on a podium and hear my national anthem being played. Perhaps this is because I chose the wrong sport. Or was born in the wrong country to the wrong parents at the wrong time. Perhaps it's because I didn't start early enough or have the right amount of support... 

Ultimately it doesn't matter. Being THE best is not my goal or aim. Rather it is to be MY best!  To commit to being better. To being the best I can be. To spend the time and energy required. To test and push my limits and capabilities. This is why I run. Why I train. Why I compete.

I hope this post will inspire everyone to find purpose in their pursuits and a passion to be better. To commit to self-improvement in some way. Some might say that this is selfish. And it is! But by being better, by being our best, we inspire others to be better too. That is why I love (the idea of) the Olympics. The spirit of sport and the exhibition of excellence. 

#78 Magical Mystery Tour

So I watched the Olympic closing ceremony and I'll admit, I am very sad to see the end of London 2012. For two weeks, I was simply mesmerized and captivated with every and all disciplines of sporting excellence and achievement (the horse stuff being the rare exception). Sure, I think the Olympic ideals are crap (It`s about athletics, NOT world peace and social justice) and the IOC is corrupt as hell, but the sports and athletes are a class act and I love to watch the highs and lows of competing at the highest level. Bolt and the Jamaican sprinters were sensational. Phelps and Lochte in the pool were fantastic. Ennis in the Heptathlon, Eaton in the Decathlon. The 5000m and the 10,000m with Magic Mo, Rupp, and Canada's Cam Levins. The women's soccer bitter-sweet loss to the Americans... And bronze, bronze and more bronze for Canada! Loved every minute. Thank you London 2012. Can't wait for Rio. Olympic withdrawal starts tomorrow.

And what a great conclusion today with the men's marathon. A massive surprise was the Ugandan gold medallist, Steven Kiprotich ahead of the Kenyans (and where the hell were the Ethiopians?!). But best of all were our very own Canadians doing us all so proud. To Reid, Eric and Dylan (Team RED 2012 Forever!), congrats guys on running your Olympic dream and sharing your journey with us all. You've done so much for our sport in this country and your legacy will continue for years to come. All the best moving forward.

Way to go guys. CND kayaker AVK, 3 marathon men and Levins at the closing ceremony in London. 

In other news, NYC 2012 training continues. Back here in Toronto, the Toronto 10-miler & 5k was today in which I and many of my LB brethren ran extremely well despite less than ideal conditions. The sun was out and the humidity rose over the Distillery district just in time for the 8:30am start. The wind was swirling and put up a fight at times but that didn't stop many of us from posting PBs and great results. A huge congrats to Doyle, Dave C, Darren, Chris Chapman, Bellamy, Kevin G, Sharlene (6th women overall!), Conrad, Julie, Rob Kay, Tara, Dana, Richard, Melinda, Jimmy, and all other LBRs. Another fine showing from the flying feathers. Thanks for all the LB support on route as well.

My race was less than ideal and I wasn't overly enthused with my time (57:15; 3:33/k) but given the conditions, I think it was the best I could have done. It was also a slight (6sec) PB over the Good Friday 10-miler (57:21) I ran way back in April. I ran by feel but felt flat and just couldn't kick it into a higher gear. I simply couldn't get my pace under 3:30/k but ran consistently and was happy with my overall placing (19/634). I ran entirely alone from about 4k which is getting really boring and I would really prefer some company (hint hint guys). I guess I need to get a whole lot better in order to hang with the sub-elites or else just take up triathlon and get my ass handed to me in the pool and on the bike and try to craw back time on the run. All in all though, it was a great day as is any day I get to chill with my LB crew.

So like most weeks of training, there is nothing particularly exciting to report. Week 2 of NYC training saw another solid week of miles and workouts. 126k for the week and 6 days of running. The Friday (03 August) was the infamous LB 'Mile on the Track' which took place at the beautiful Varsity Stadium at U of T. I/we used this opportunity to run a 4x1600m workout (sorry Bert) and then ran a tempo run for the remainder of the hour in which Doyle and I hit about 10miles in those 60min. Saturday was a day off and Sunday the first of our 32k runs which went okay but was hot and humid and my body is still far from familiar with that length of run at one time. Lots of work still to do.

Week 3 concluded today with the 10-miler. I only hit 110k for the week as I opted to take the day off yesterday to 'taper.' However, the week saw 4 consecutive 10+ milers as aerobic runs including a tough hill workout and some up-tempo pace. The real training is still to come as the mileage will continue to climb as well as the introduction of double days. The next race is in 2 weeks as I head home to Ingersoll for the Harvest Run (10k) in which I hope to claim the title in my home-town event. Until then, plenty of running and some tough workouts to come. At least it seems the weather will cooperate and the worst of the summer heat and humidity seems to be behind us. 12 weeks to go to NYC.

In completely other news, I am set to defend my MSc (Exercise Sciences) thesis at the end of the month which will end a trying but tremendously influential chapter of my life. My thesis is titled: "In it for the long run: An ethnography of the psychological and social rewards of recreational running and club culture." Surprise, surprise, I found that running provides a number of significant rewards that contribute to overall health and well-being. In time, I plan to highlight some of my findings and discussion in greater depth here on my blog and share them with you (the only people who might actually care). Stayed tuned for more.

That's all from me for now. Keep running folks.

#76 Mean Mr. Mustard

Wednesday 18 July 2012

Here are some random and recent rumblings I thought I'd share with you all.

Thumb update: This coming Friday will be 3 weeks since I had surgery to put the pins and wires in to keep the bone in place. Since I was told they would come out after 3 weeks, I am increasingly anxious to get on with this. My cast is disgusting considering the recent temperatures and my insistance on running everyday since the surgery. Today I was told I may need to wait ANOTHER 2 weeks before I can be seen but I've made some calls and the wheels are in motion to have them out by Sunday. If not, I'm cutting off my cast! Seriously, I will. The smell alone is more than I, and others, can bare.

Run update: I mentioned that I've run everyday since surgery. That's 18 days and 297km. I'm looking forward to a day off on Saturday to rest up and 'taper' for the Lindsay 10k on Sunday. The race is looking to be awesome. Not because it will be hot as hell and thus likely slower than expected, but because we've organized 19 Longboat Roadrunners (LBRs) to go to Lindsay to run this thing. We've also formed 4 teams to compete (mostly against each other) for the team category. The all-you-can-eat ice cream and chocolate milk will also be a nice reward. Look forward to a race recap in a few days.

In other running news, I was recently invited to become part of the Mizuno Mesamashii Project. Thank you Michelle Clarke for this. Not exactly sure what the heck it's all about but it does mean I get a new FREE pair of running shoes and beggars certainly can't be choosers. Some might see this as being a conflict of interest, considering that I work for New Balance (Toronto). Well guess what? New Balance isn't giving me free shoes; Mizuno is! The Mizuno Wave Universe 4 to be exact. It weights 3.8oz! And I'm going to (try to) run in it. Awesome. I also have no current allegiance to one brand of shoe and am still awaiting the day that I get a sponsor (takers, anyone?). I gotta say I still love the Adidas Adios 2, the NB1400's and my current trainer the NB890RC2. But maybe Mizuno will be the brand for me (and hey, it works for Dylan Wykes).

Speaking of Dylan, some Canadian running news:

The London Olympics are almost here (9 days to go) and Athletics Canada has named it's team to represent our country in the 'sport' of Track and Field. Then, they added 5 more athletes to bring the total to 45, our largest in recent history. All I can say is that despite my reservations about the Olympics generally, which I consider to be a corrupt and greedy corporate and media circus with just a sprinkle of sport; I am extremely excited to watch what the Olympics is truly about... a bunch of humanoid, drug-enhanced freaks push the boundaries of what is humanly possible by running fast, jumping high and throwing things! The Olympics are for international peace, unity and solidarity. Give me a break! It's about nationalism, conmsumerism, and corporate greed. But the athletes are awesome and good at what they do.

Some will have heard by now that 'Oh so close, and yet so far' non-Olympic athletes Lanni Marchant and Krista DuChene are running the STWM on 14 October. They (okay, mostly just Marchant who has a lot to say about the matter) are looking to run sub 2:30 and perhaps even break Sylvia Ruegger's Canadian record (2:28:36 set in 1985) along the way. While I wish them the best of luck in what would surely be an amazing accomplishment not only for themselves but for Canadian women's distance running in general; I feel her (Marchants) desire to prove a point to Athletics Canada for not selecting her (them) for London is misplaced and immature. Argue if you will that the system in place is unjust and unfair, but the fact of the matter is that you did not meet the standard (Canada has an "A' standard of 2:29:55 for the women's marathon) to go to London. End of story.

More news related to STWM. Canadian Running magazine and online blogger Rebecca Gardiner, the women who infamously wrote a blog about/directed at me ('Angry Dan') for being an elitist jerk (which I don't deny), has been chosen to be an 'official' blogger for STWM as well. In doing so she has set the goal of breaking 4:00 hrs for the marathon. Here, I wish Rebecca all the best on her journey to achieve her personal goal and inspire many people along the way. I am not here to bitch or complain about the merits of running a sub 4hr marathon and in fact, I can only imagine how many individuals out there are seeking a similar goal (especially when compared to those who are looking to achieve mine: a sub 2:30 marathon) and so can easily relate to Ms Gardiner's journey. What I will say is this. If you really want to run a sub 4 hour marathon, all you need to do is follow these 3 simple steps: 1. Train for it! Run at least 5 days a week and 75-100km for 12 consecutive weeks before the race including a weekly long run of 28-32km. 2. Don't be fat! Aim to have a race day body mass index (BMI) of no more than 25. Running is NOT a license to eat. 3. Compete, don't complete! It's called a race. That's why there's a clock! The goal is to run 42.2k as fast as possible. Train. Taper. Carboload. Race. Done.

Finally, this week Canadian Running magazine hosted some online chats with some of Canada's London bound track athletes, including Geoff Harris (800m), Nate Brannen (1500m), Mohammed Ahmed (10,000m), Cam Levins (5000 and 10,000m), and finally Reid Coolsaet, Eric Gillis and Dylan Wykes (all Marathon). I highly recommend going back and reading them as they have plenty of useful training tips, Olympic insights, as well as friendly banter...and which comes from the best of the best.

What I found most interesting was when they spoke of their training mileage. Guys like Harris and Brannen who run 'short' track stuff are doing upwards of 90miles (150k) a week while middle distance guys like Ahmed do about 100-120 (160-190km). Perhaps not exactly 'normal,' 'crazy' Cam does 150 or more miles (240km) most weeks! And the marathoners aim for 120 -160 miles (190-240km) per week. Doing some basic math, we find that a guy like Harris is running just 0.5% of his weekly mileage during his goal race. For a 1500m runner, it's 1%, and for the middle distance guys it's between 3 and 6% (although for a guy like Levins, it's only 2-4%). Marathoners 'only' run about 18% of their weekly mileage in their goal race...but remember this only takes place once a cycle and after several months of training!!!

What I find so interesting about this is how it relates to recent debate about the merits and methods of 'ultrarunning.' Rarely do I ever hear about the training for such events which I would naturally assume involve similar although extremely exaggerated patterns of training and mileage. You'd think that in order to run a 50k, 100k or even a 100 mile race, one would need to log hundreds of weekly miles in order to be successful. The time and energy needed to do so is beyond my comprehension. And yet, my suspicion is that we'd be hard pressed to find any ultra runner that exceeds 100 miles or even kilometres of training each week (ultra-rare exceptions surely exist). My issue with ultrarunning, and it has been made many times before, is NOT that it exists and that people do it, but that such an activity is not really all that impressive (say when compared to a sub 4:00 mile or a 2:05 marathon) nor do a majority of its participants deserve the exaggerated praise and elevated recognition they demand for their accomplishments. In many ways (distance, terrain, elevation, timing), ultras are nothing more than extreme and excessive endurance contests (that may or may not involve running) and which often reward the most stubborn, those simply willing to persevere.

Again, I'm not saying don't do it. I'm just saying don't expect to be patted on the back and recognized and rewarded for your largely unspectacular and mostly mediocre endeavour. You want praise? You want recognition? Qualify for Boston! Run a sub-20 5k or a sub-40 10k. Run a sub-6 mile or sub-60s 400! The distance doesn't matter. It's the effort that you give in order to be successful. Having the integrity to do the absolute best that you can and give everything that you've got. Full stop.

#53: Good Day Sunshine

Until a few minutes ago, the only thing I could possibly think to write about was the weather. It's only the second full week of March and I am trying to get used to the idea that Winter may be over and Summer already arrived. Wonderful weather predicted for the coming weeks will mean a return to running in short shorts and t-shirts... and maybe an early tan! My training schedule shows a lot of running to come from now until 06 May, so bring on the mileage. Given that winter didn't really occur this year and running has been blissful since early January, we really haven't any reasons to complain about weather all year! So I’ll move right along.

I was just introduced to an idea which seems so foreign to me that I am desperately trying to make sense of it and make an informed opinion as to its value. The 'idea' is that of handicapped racing as utilized by the 'Victorian Athletic League.' The FAQ section of their website describes it as:

"Handicapped racing is designed to ensure that every athlete has a chance to win. This means that athletes are allocated a handicap according to their ability. The fastest runner is placed on a backmark and gives a start to slower runners. This ensures that racing is close and exciting, with spectacular finishes... Handicap racing is an Australian tradition where every competitor is given a chance to share in success."

So essentially this means that a guy like me, who hasn't a hope in Haiti of competing at an elite level, could toe the line with the fastest in the world (say Usain Bolt), be given a 'fair' head start based on the difference in our abilities, and sprint to the finish for the win. This is the same idea as the Longboat Relay happening this weekend before the New Member's Brunch where Bert pairs faster runners with slower runners in a two-person relay with each team member running 1500m which will ideally end with a close, photo finish-like scenario. In another: 2, 3 and 4 hour marathoners could also compete in the same race with slower runners starting earlier and the faster ones having to catch up/make up ground with everyone being very close at the finish. Ultimately, it attempts to give every athlete of every ability an equal opportunity at winning.

At first I was baffled, and mildly annoyed, by this. What a stupid idea, I thought. So now, not only are the fastest guys in the world going to have to beat each other; but they have to beat amateurs like me too! If we can already find a hundred athletes who can run super fast and compete with each other, why should someone with a fraction of the talent even think they have the right to compete on the same stage?! I completely dismissed the idea as utterly ridiculous only to be challenged with: "Well what's the difference? It's just replacing one arbitrary rule of sport with another?!" I guess that's true if you consider the arbitrary rule of sport to be: run a given distance in as little time as possible. All rules in sport are arbitrary! Honestly, my fundamental notion of what sport was and what it meant was challenged to such a degree that I was unable to make any sense of this.

I suppose this irks me so much due to my perception that the current culture of sport has increasingly come to accommodate the growing hoards of recreational participants over the competitive and elite athlete. It also espouses the 'everybody wins' mentality and devalues the very real existence of losing and competition. Moreover, if my ability is significantly less than another person; could I ever feel right at having a realistic chance of beating them at a race? Personally, I could not. Others might jump at such an opportunity, to beat the 'best' by being sub-par; and to me, that reflects a disturbed attitude towards sport in general. Also, who determines these handicaps and how are they ensured to be fair? The FAQ states: "Stewards and Handicappers keep an eye on all runners to ensure they run to the best of their ability and do not deliberately run slow to get a better handicap. The stewards can fine athletes that are found to be deliberately running slow or do not provide correct details about past performances." Sounds like more unnecessary policing and rule enforcement to me, not to mention that this seems like a near impossible thing to do objectively and creates entirely new avenues of cheating in sport. Finally, if everyone were realistically able to compete and succeed, who determines who and how many can participate. Suddenly you have an entire population capable of making the Olympic team!?

Anyway, it's a fascinating topic and definitely controversial. My position is opposition based on my own appreciation for high performance sport and competition in general. I'm sure others would disagree and commend the idea for its inclusiveness and fairness. In the end, I doubt we'll see handicapped events at the Olympics anytime soon.

Some context: I was presented this 'idea' as a potential new way of thinking about competitive sport, specifically the Olympic Games. I am opposed to the idea of 'handicapped sport' as a replacement/alternate to high performance sport only. I agree it has enormous potential to increase participation, inclusiveness/fairness and 'level the playing field.' Quite honestly, it truly would make competition a lot more exciting too!